Steady ⌂
“The humblest tasks get beautified if loving hands do them”- Louisa May Alcott, Little Women.
Lately, I've been pondering what to write about. With so much happening in the world, it's hard to settle on one topic that feels right. While I'm working on a piece about the concept of worth, where it comes from, and how we obtain it, there are some personal reflections I need to sort through before sharing it.
But today, I want to write about something important.
First I would like to discuss the different kinds of friendships in my life. My friends and those I consider family span all ages, from the newest arrivals in the nursery to the wise souls in the pews.
Some might find this extreme, even odd, but for those who truly know me, they understand why such a broad spectrum exists in my circle. It all comes down to the way my parents intentionally designed mine and my sisters upbringing. They wanted us to learn from everyone, no matter how young or old they are.
My history in different churches has been quite something, my family, we've often found it challenging to fully connect without encountering moments that felt more about people's agendas than about honoring and glorifying God. The American church failed what I thought was just my family but thousands across the nation! It took me a while to grasp the significance of every age group in my life until the start of my home church and then finding a church body, where I lived in Charlotte, that showed me if we claim to be a believer and follower of Jesus, than being the church extends beyond the confines of a church building. A recent sermon emphasized this truth for me.
From the little ones in my life to those my own age and even older, I deeply value the lessons, friendships, encouragement, helping hands, and attentive ears they provide. Without these individuals, I wouldn't have these stories to draw from and share.
Now, let's dive into today's topic: Homesteading which I want to change to; Raising, Tending and Keeping. (This can pertain to Men in a different aspect but for right now this is for the Ladies!)
A few weeks back, I had the pleasure of visiting some friends who chose to do something amazing: starting their own homestead. Their vision is to create a space where their children can roam freely, immersed in nature, riding tractors, raising chickens for eggs and meat, and tending to a garden for fresh, nourishing food. Witnessing their dedication to this lifestyle was truly inspiring.
It's remarkable that this family has chosen to honor God through their family by taking this bold step. They've made the conscious decision to pack their bags and build a life on a homestead that not only sustains them physically but also nurtures their mental and spiritual well-being.
As I sat in their kitchen conversing about, not “Homesteading” but the essence of creating a home, by Raising, Tending and Keeping, it reminded me of a similar conversation I had with an important friend back in Charlotte.
This friend and I delved into what it means to embody the roles of a Godly Woman, Wife, and Mother. At that time, my perspective was narrow, clouded by my own experiences and envious feelings.
Without judgment, I began to express my beliefs on what it truly means to honor God in those roles, all while, unbeknownst to my friend, I was living in unrepentant sin and engaging in behaviors that contradicted my professed beliefs.
It was during this period that I had just got out of a relationship that was doomed from the start due to differing upbringings, theology, and a lack of willingness to establish a firm foundation rooted in the Word of God.
Thankfully, this friend didn't hesitate to challenge me and hold me accountable. Her words and actions served as a wake-up call, prompting me to confront the inconsistencies between my beliefs and my actions. Through her guidance and support, I began to reevaluate and reconsider what true Biblical womanhood is.
Going back to the previous conversation: This family has overcome numerous challenges, even before marriage and children entered the picture. For them, this homestead represents a tremendous blessing and a tangible expression of the goodness of our Creator. Having known them for a few years, I can say with confidence that they wouldn't be where they are today without the love and steadfastness of Christ guiding their steps.
In this conversation, there was a continual acknowledgment of the awe-inspiring work of God and His ability to work in ways we could never imagine. The Keeper of the home shared how she never envisioned herself doing x, y, z when it comes to being a wife and mother. Knowing her background story, one would understand and empathize with her past struggles. Out of most friends, she is someone who has undergone a remarkable lifestyle change, one of the most profound conversion stories I know of. This is a woman who once didn't know Christ, but as soon as He revealed Himself to her, she clung on and hasn't let go.
What does this say about me and fellow born-and-bred Christians? Raised in a Christian home, I found myself directly disobeying not just my earthly parents but my Father in Heaven. Ruining my life and those around because I couldn’t take a look at the best gift that had been extended to me. Hearing her story stirs a deep longing within me to shake the old version of myself and say, "What are you doing? Wake up and do better!"
As I sat there listening to the profound revelations this family shared about their new life, one statement made by the Keeper of the home made me pause: "I don't understand how more people don't want a life like this." Her words resonated deeply with me, prompting me to reflect on the allure of their lifestyle and the transformative power it holds for them.
Our conversation didn't stop there. We delved into the contrasts between urban and rural living, discussing the myriad ways each lifestyle can impact someone and their family. From the hustle and bustle of city life to the serenity and depth of “homesteading", we explored the upsides and downsides of each, recognizing the unique blessings and challenges they offer.
My dear sisters in Christ,
I know we have all experienced feelings of uncertainty and faced similar challenges when it comes to friendships, relationships, career choices, and raising children. These are not new topics, yet they continue to create strains in our lives and communities because there is no one-size-fits-all answer that applies to every woman who hasn't turned to the Word for guidance.
This might be a hard truth to hear, but I want to remind you, sisters, that simply "stepping into our calling" is not the message. Calling ourselves believers means more than just a title; it means surrendering our desires and ambitions to make the world about Christ, not ourselves. Being a Christian entails daily dying to self and taking up our cross to follow Christ's example.
Self-help strategies, eisegesis teachings, vision boards, the pursuit of self-empowerment, legalism, and boastfulness are not rooted in God's truth. These ideologies may offer temporary relief or validation, but they do not lead to lasting fulfillment or true spiritual growth.
Regardless of the stage you find yourself in, there are ways to honor God while cultivating confidence and worth in your life. As sinners, we cannot make ourselves right with a holy God; only through His Son, Jesus Christ, can we truly understand our calling as Christians, not as independent agents.
Biblical Womanhood, whether you’re single, married, or in a courtship:
Must know your Bible
Rooted in Sound Theology
Prayerful
Your life must display fruits (Galatians 5:22-23) that reveal a renewed mind
Embody and or uphold scripture such as; Titus 2, Proverbs 31, 1 Corinthians 13, John 13:35, 1 John 4:19
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42)
My narrowed view and belief of “Biblical womanhood” once centered around an envious longing for the seemingly idyllic lives of other women—those who appeared to have it all: home on large land, many children to nurture, and a flourishing garden. However, I've come to realize that this narrow perspective is damaging, both to the body of Christ and to myself.
For those who are single, are you plugged into a theologically sound church where you can both be served and serve others? It's essential to find a community where you can grow spiritually and contribute meaningfully, regardless of your marital status. Are you also approaching your job with diligence and excellence, using your skills and talents to glorify God in your work?
Married women, are you actively pouring into the singles around you? Is your husband the spiritual leader of your household, opening the Word with you daily? Are you tending to your home, creating a welcoming and hospitable environment for both your family and outsiders? Are you also approaching your job with the same level of dedication and excellence? Whether you're working inside or outside the home, are you using your skills and talents to honor God and contribute positively to your workplace and community? Are you intentional about honoring yourself and your husband, including in your choices of clothing? And are you connected to a theologically sound church where you can continue to grow in your faith and contribute to the congregation?
For mothers, are you prioritizing daily time in the Word with your children, ensuring they receive your full attention in every aspect of their lives, from playtime to discipline to mealtime?
Sisters take a moment to see where you are and appreciate this stage.
“What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy him forever.”
Do you see where I'm coming from, sister? It's not about the ring on your finger, the size of your property, or whether you have children or herbs growing in the windowsill. While these are blessings, true fulfillment is only found in Christ.
Instead, let's use wherever we find ourselves in life as an opportunity to embody holy qualities of femininity, self-discipline, humor, and love. Whether we're single, married, widowed, childless, or in motherhood, our life is a chance to reflect the grace and love we received and share it with the world.
Young women look for guidance, for an example of steadfastness in faith, godly counsel, and the power of prayer from those who are older. Older women be that beacon of light in their lives, showing them that true beauty lies in the strength of character, not in outward appearances or worldly achievements.
And let's remember, sisters, to stand firm within our walls, utilizing our capabilities and capacities to create a haven of peace and love. Let's nurture our relationships, tend to our responsibilities, and cultivate an atmosphere of warmth and welcome for all who enter.
So, let's embrace where we are with grace and gratitude, knowing that each moment is an opportunity to shine the light of love and wisdom in a world that desperately needs it. We can all Raise, Tend and Keep!
Let this serve as a gentle reminder to myself, the one who was once envious and sought out the serenity of rural living, to find joy in the urban life that may lay ahead. While I once dreamed of wide-open spaces and country roads, I now see the beauty in the convenience of farmer's markets, local libraries, sporting events, and the company of dear friends just a stone's throw away for impromptu coffee runs.
As my significant other knows, I've held onto a vision of a specific life. Yet, as we approach two years within our courtship, and we begin to plan and decide things for our future, I find myself content with however he decides to provide and, more importantly, where God leads us. For as it is written, "Not my will but Yours be done."
