“Sensitive Spirit”
Frances R Havergal
“Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to thee. Take my moments and my days; let them flow in endless praise.”
Hi Friends,
It's been a while since I last put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, in this digital age). Life has been a whirlwind of school and work, leaving little time for my writing, which brings me so much joy. But today, as I sit down to write, I'm reminded of the importance of carving out space for your passions, even among the busyness of life.
I've had countless ideas swirling around in my mind, begging to be shared with the world. Yet, I've hesitated, trying to figure out where to begin. That is until a simple question sparked a profound conversation with my dad—one that inspired me to explore a topic that has been weighing on my heart.
As we sat together by the crackling fireplace, sipping on steaming cups of coffee, I found myself grappling with a question that lingered in my mind:
"Do you think I'm too sensitive?"
It was a question that caught my dad off guard; its suddenness disrupted the flow of our conversation. But it was a question that I felt compelled to ask, seeking an honest reflection (at least, I thought that’s what I wanted) from someone whose opinion I value deeply.
He responded quickly:
“Why do you ask that?”
I began recounting to my dad the specific incident that had prompted my question—a moment in a church setting where someone whom I've always regarded as loving and kind said something that cut me to the core. In that moment, as their words hung in the air, I felt a wave of shock and hurt wash over me, rendering me speechless and immobile.
As I sat across from my dad, trying to make sense of it all, I couldn't help but wonder: How could someone who has always shown me such warmth and affection suddenly wound me with their words? And why did it affect me so deeply?
In sharing this experience with my dad, I also admitted to him something that I've been struggling with since returning home after 4 years. I attended a solid and theologically sound church with a large, diverse community—and I've noticed a shift within myself. It seems that my emotions, particularly my sensitivity, have grown more pronounced and acute in this environment. And yet, it doesn't quite make sense to me. Now that I am home and in a different setting, what do I do with this “sensitive spirit?”
His response was not unexpected. With a knowing look in his eyes, he gently affirmed what many already know about me: I am indeed a sensitive soul. I take things to heart, perhaps more deeply than others, and I feel the pain of those around me as if it were my own.
But his words, while well-intentioned, left me feeling somewhat deflated. Yes, I am sensitive, but does that mean I should brush off the hurts inflicted by others? Should I numb myself to the pain in order to toughen up, as society often suggests?
Despite my dad's encouraging words, I couldn't shake the feeling of defeat that settled over me. My question remained unanswered, and I was left with the complexities of my own sensitivity, wondering if it was a burden rather than a blessing.
Why have I decided to share this with you? Well, after grappling with my sensitivity, I decided to do some research that led me to an answer. While not perfect (my resolution), this insight brought comfort and aligned with scripture (infallible), offering validation to my struggles. Though finding peace wasn't always easy, it provided a sense of clarity that I felt compelled to share.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
It is no coincidence that a heart of stone turned to a heart of flesh has been prevalent in my life lately. As a born-again believer, I firmly believe that Christ's sacrifice on the cross has transformed me, making me new and clean. The intricate design of each individual by the Creator of the heavens and the earth is a testament to His wisdom. We are all equal in God's eyes, yet uniquely crafted to reflect His glory in diverse ways. This diversity enriches our lives, preventing monotony and fostering growth. While sin may occasionally cloud my sensitive spirit, I've come to realize that it doesn't define me as "too sensitive," but rather as someone with a depth of empathy and compassion that sin can sometimes overshadow.
In my quest for understanding, I delved into scripture, finding resonance in passages that shed light on the intricacies of human nature and the transformative power of God's love. Among these verses were Romans 2:4-5, 2 Corinthians 3:3, Jeremiah 24:7, Ezekiel 36:26, Psalm 139:14, Matthew 5:8, and Romans 12:2. While there are countless other verses that reinforce my insights, these particular passages happen to be the ones I chose. Hopefully, it will guide me to a deeper understanding of my sensitivity and its place in God's plan.
Overly Sensitive:
There are moments when my sensitivity gets the best of me, leading to emotional reactions that cloud my judgment. These instances highlight a deeper issue rooted in the human condition—sin.
Example:
During such times, I find myself making the situation solely about my own feelings, succumbing to selfishness instead of embracing the call to love and serve others.
Solution:
I allow it to stay on my mind and affect the rest of my day, the week, or the month. Instead of being self-centered, we need to recognize that we ALL fall short of God's glory. We are sinners!
1. Address the issue directly by initiating a private and respectful conversation with the person involved. This allows for clarification and resolution, preventing misunderstandings from festering.
2. Take time to reflect on the situation and consider alternative perspectives (Maybe they were having a bad day, you interjected when it wasn’t needed, etc.). Could you evaluate the incident with a fresh mindset and, if necessary, reach out to the individual to ensure their well-being and understanding? Grab lunch or a cup of coffee with this person, and ensure they know they’re loved!
3. Seek guidance from trusted individuals, such as friends or church elders, who can offer wisdom and perspective from a neutral standpoint.
4. This is the hardest one for me! Absorbing those words or letting it go, not in the sense of “acting like the incident didn’t happen, allowing it to reoccur or to other people,” but just praying for yourself and that person. Perhaps most importantly, I strive to release the burden of hurt or offense through prayer. By lifting up both myself and the other person in prayer, I acknowledge our shared humanity and imperfections while also seeking reconciliation and understanding.
Pray that you continue to understand that we are humans and mess up; you’re not perfect. You are a believer and are called to be an example of Christ! Be the example!
“Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
We thrive as individuals and communities by embracing accountability and remaining open to correction. In both society and the church, this fosters a culture of continuous learning and improvement in our love and service to others. By extending grace and support to one another, we empower each other to grow and strive for greater compassion and understanding.
Sensitive Spirit:
Humans were intentionally designed with emotions by God; we are not meant to be robotic beings. Our range of emotions, whether sensitivity, resilience, joy, or calmness, are all gifts from God and can be used to glorify Him.
I had a realization during a car ride with my dad, shortly after discussing my sensitivity the other day. Reflecting on another incident, I acknowledged my own misunderstanding and empathized with the other person's perspective, even if it wasn't the response I had hoped for.
However, when my dad suggested I should adapt to others' communication styles, I initially felt defensive. My own flesh and blood were taking this person’s side and defending them. Yet, upon deeper reflection, I realized that effective communication is indeed challenging and requires humility. While I value communication, I acknowledge that I still have much to learn and improve upon.
I felt like the problem… Because, guess what? I was! “One of the hardest things people have to do is communicate,” which I learned from my dad.
We talked through some things, and I just laid it out to my dad. I explained to him that God decided to bless me with a sensitive spirit for reasons that I did not know. I mentioned that now I am back home, in a church full of Tough, (sometimes) Stubborn, Intelligent, very Blunt military guys, I see myself as a vital balance, adding diversity and perspective to the mix. It can not always be the military march
“Left, Left, Left, Right Left”
Every once in a while, because we have others who keep a happy balance and add so much personality and gifts, we can and will add a little bit of…
“Left, Left, Skip, Right, Hop”
Takeaways:
Am I perfect?
No.
Are you perfect?
No.
Should we all continue to strive for holiness?
Absolutely.
In closing, I offer this prayer for myself, and perhaps it may resonate with you as you pray for your own blessings, needs, and for others:
"Lord, I resist the notion of 'thicker skin' or 'toughening up.' Instead, I ask for strength, understanding, and even vulnerability in areas where I need it. You have shown me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness' (2 Corinthians 12:9). In my weakness, your power shines through; you are sovereign. Grant me a tender and soft heart throughout my days. May my hands remain uncalloused, ready to extend grace and love. Guide me in discerning the right path, and may I daily submit to your will, not mine. I place my trust in you, my good Father; my hope is secure. You are gracious and magnificent, reminding us that our worth is found only in you." -Cait
