“Honky Tonk <3”
1998 was the year two of the most influential people in my life met—at a small country bar in Albuquerque, NM.
Neither knew that their love for the Honky Tonk would turn into a rollercoaster journey filled with exhilarating highs and heart-wrenching lows. A deep sense of connection to the music, the dance floor, and soon each other. As they twirled under the neon lights and two-stepped to the rhythm of their hearts, they found love in the honky-tonk's embrace.
However, life had its own plans, and they faced challenges that tested their bond. Amidst the ups and downs of their journey, they found themselves at a pivotal moment where the Holy Spirit tugged at their heartstrings, guiding them toward a newfound hope that would transform their lives forever.
One of my favorite things about these two is that throughout the twenty-one years I’ve been alive, they have never shied or skewed their life, or the life they thought was “worth living” before getting saved.
My parents, Jeff and Carol, have been saved for twenty-one years. I can remember that because it was the year I was born, 2002.
Their love story is my favorite testimony because it indeed shows how God can use the farthest of far, the lowest of lows, the unexpected, and the weak for his Glory.
Allow me to clarify: Their personal testimony is NOT the Gospel message. Because of the Gospel, they have a personal testimony, a redemptive story that says, They’ve been saved by grace through faith.
I always get the privilege of telling people that my testimony doesn’t start with me. It began with my parents!
And if you will join me in my writing endeavors, pack your bags and go home with me! You’ll get the truth; honestly, you get to know the whole story!
I wish, reader, you were sitting with me, coffee in hand, as I unravel this story. It’s better than watching a Disney movie or listening to the most excellent love song. This love is powerful, motivating, and resilient. It is much easier to explain in person than with written words. But here I go!
Both were born into broken homes, set on paths that wouldn’t lead to a tomorrow. At least that’s where your mind would wander if you didn’t get the ending.
My father, Jeff, was born in a small town in Vermont. His parents provided him with a roof over his head and food on the table, both good things, but that was the outside looking in. With lots of unresolved pain, alcohol abuse, and no help with the religion of Catholicism, he signed some papers and joined the military at the age of seventeen.
My mother, Caroline Lupita Suarez Gorman Stevens… And yes, that is her full name! We will stick with Carol; she was born and then dropped off at my great-grandmother’s (little grandma) Hogan on the Navajo reservation. Sadly, little Grandma was getting too old to care for my mom, and she found (what I like to call her white family) the Gordans in Utah, who adopted and took her in as their own.
Would anyone like that cup of coffee before I continue? Because I might!
Fast forward a few years, my father living what seemed to be the high of his life. Single and not tied down to one person, traveling the world and partying like there’s no tomorrow. It’s not easy to describe this now-dead man as this is not a person I’ve ever met. But supposedly, he is not someone that I would be around. He was a hard-working man but a hopeless drunk. It seems like he was the kind of person who had great potential and could have it all if he could recognize that his wickedness was paid for and it was bought with a price.
My mom didn’t even think she’d make it to this point in her life. Even though a loving family took her in, I‘m sure there were many unanswered questions. See, what you didn’t know was that this family was practicing Mormons. And if you know anything about Mormonism, it is a religion that contradicts and modifies the true living word of God. Also, a religion that you’re not allowed to question! My mom got pregnant out of wedlock at a very young age and had my half-brother Corbin. She was then stuck in a relationship that didn’t seem to have a light at the end of the tunnel.
With the significant details written, I can finally get to the “Midnight Rodeo” in Albuquerque, NM. I can’t say if the atmosphere drew these two together or if it was pure lust, but it happened. Jeff & Carol met, and it wasn’t an “aha” moment where they saw the rest of their lives as one.
My father, Jeff, was on active duty, just there for some training. My mother, Carol, had a seven-year-old and set-in-stone plans never to allow a man into their home. For some reason, these two kids genuinely enjoyed each other’s time and stayed in contact after their Honky Tonk night.
After a year of long-distance phone calls and short visits, Jeff decided to ask the question. I mean, they were already planning on moving in together, so they might as well make it official. Out of respect, Jeff calls Carol’s father with her nosey mom on the other line, listening in, and they are all on the same page; a month later, on September 4, 1999, Jeff and Carol are married.
I remember asking my mom how their first year of marriage was, and she responded with, "It was so much fun!”
Unfortunately, after that first year and adding another child to the family, it all started to set in, and the hardships began weighing on everyone.
Most would agree that marriage, kids, and jobs come with hardships, but no one said that putting two of the most broken people together who don’t have an ounce of hope is just like adding gasoline to a fire. These two were ready to call quits after the first year!
With a house full of stress and worry, these two didn’t know the ultimate rest that would soon come and bring peace to their souls.
Like any typical American family, these two attended the occasional Sunday service. It took a while to get everyone on board, but one day, these two stepped foot in the church, and that was it… The pivotal moment!
Nothing they hadn’t heard before but something that pricked their hearts. A message about living the high life and seeing it crash down and then presented the hope of the Gospel.
Sin is anything that falls short of “perfect.” That is what we are, sinners. We have sinned, and the punishment for sin is death, meaning total separation from God, the source of life. For us to go to heaven, God’s dwelling place and the realm of life and light, sin must be somehow removed or paid for. That would be Christ, our living hope. Because of the Gospel, we understand that we cannot and do not earn our salvation; the work of redemption and justification is complete and finished on the cross: Jesus, the propitiation for our sins. The good news is that we were once enemies of God, have been reconciled by the blood of Christ, and adopted into the family of God.
They took this message and ran! Although things in the home didn’t magically become perfect, and life isn’t perfect, these two had hope. They knew they couldn’t do this thing called life all alone. They have hope for a better life with each other and their kids. I have seen these two grow before my very eyes, and I owe everything to them! Christ is the answer, not for riches and gold, but for wisdom, peace, and hope! Their service to one another, their humbleness, and their love for Christ and each other are attributes I crave to have with my spouse and for those around me!
I can say with pride that this past September 4th, 2023, my parents, Jeff and Carol, celebrated their Twenty-fourth anniversary. I am so incredibly proud of how far they’ve come. Thank you, God, for your hand in it all. And thank you, God, for that little Honky Tonk in good ole Albuquerque, NM!
