(UN)SAFE
Women in the church, your job & role.
Friends and Readers,
Today, I want to address a challenging topic that has weighed on my heart for the last 3-4 years. As someone who has grown exponentially in their faith, I’ve noticed a troubling pattern in the way many women engage within the Christian community: a tendency to overlook critical thinking and evidence-based reasoning in favor of conformity. I’ll be covering a lot of ground, so bear with me as I navigate through.
“Sweet is the work, my God, my King, To praise Thy Name, give thanks and sing; To show Thy love by morning light, And talk of all Thy truth at night.” Issac Watts
Recently, I participated in a women's Bible study where I found myself in an unusual position. As the youngest member, I felt like an outsider—unmarried, childless, still in university, and without a professional career. Despite my efforts to engage thoughtfully, I often felt over-prepared. Bible in hand and notebook full of notes. When questions were posed, it was clear that everyone anticipated I would have a well-prepared answer, even if it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. I was approaced by the leader of the group sharing that some of the women felt unsafe in the group.
Some reasons for this feeling:
They felt shut down when trying to contribute.
The feeling of inadequacy when they didn’t know an answer.
Fear of being wrong silenced them.
It seemed like there was only one accepted perspective.
* Before I continue, I’d like to take a moment to address the women from that group directly. If you’re reading this, please know that I have a deep love for each of you. You are always welcome to reach out to me. *
Moving right along this is just one example of a larger issue. As we continue, I hope to show the connection and purpose behind these observations.
I'm one of the few women-my age-who embrace a more traditional view of womanhood, feeling a strong calling to be a submissive wife, a devoted mother (God permitting), and a keeper of the home. I find fulfillment in maintaining a tidy household, preparing meals, homeschooling my children for as long as I can, tending to a garden, and folding laundry. Does this mean I’m perfect or that my perspective is the only right way? Absolutely not! To be honest, if my significant other proposed to me tomorrow, I would strive to fulfill that role to the best of my ability, many may think I’m crazy for that.
My love and value of the Scriptures is the reason I believe that living out this list is a God-honoring pursuit.
The women’s liberation movement and feminism aren’t new concepts; what has changed is the enhancement of technology and social media that amplify their agendas. This movement was never solely about achieving equality with men; it has often sought to surpass men and undermine their inherent roles as protectors, leaders, and providers for women. It’s disheartening to see many young women today who harbor disdain for men. This mindset often stems from past trauma, a lack of Godly male role models, or the influence of pervasive propaganda.
As a 2000s baby, I grew up during the rise of social media platforms. While I recognize that technology has been around long before I was born—seriously, can we talk about the pyramids?—I’m specifically referring to web-based programs like MySpace, Facebook, etc. I firmly believe that technology can be incredibly beneficial when used wisely. It has the potential to connect, share, and foster community. However, it can also be extremely dangerous if misused—manipulation and deception, are just a few of the negative outcomes.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been a cyberbully and misused technology in harmful ways. In my quest for attention and popularity among so-called “friends” and “boys” (quotation marks for a reason, as they weren’t true friends and those boys certainly weren’t men).
I was foolish, decieved, disobedient, hateful and selfish. If it weren’t for the sanctification and cleansing that put to rest the old person that I was, I can only wonder who or what I might have become. This certaintly isn’t due to anything I’ve accomplished, but rather because of the One who bore the wrath and removed my shame, guilt, and sin.
“The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:2, NIV)
This brings me to why I’m extremely cautious about who I read, listen to, and follow on social media. If you claim to be a Christian Woman and believe in the Bible, it’s essential to align your life with Christ’s teachings. Here’s a list of what you should seek:
A solid local church with male leadership: Look for a church with established male leadership, such as elders and deacons, a governing board may also be present, depending on the church's denomination. The role of men preaching is supported by scripture, particularly in 1 Timothy 3, which outlines the qualifications for church leaders. This guidance isn’t limited to the specific context of Paul’s time; it serves as a foundational principle for church structure throughout history. (For a deeper exploration of this topic, Resource: “Why Sally Can’t Preach” by Jacob Tanner)
A church with an engaged pastor’s wife: Is there a wife of an elder who actively participates in the church community? Does she stand by her husband to greet members, know the families, and serve with her gifts? A pastor’s wife who connects with women of all ages can provide invaluable support and guidance.
A church that teaches and exposits the Word of God: It’s vital to find a church that preaches real historical accounts in context so that congregants can understand true worship. Remember, the Bible isn’t about us!
“Exegesis is the exposition or explanation of a text based on a careful, objective analysis. The word exegesis literally means “to lead out of.” That means that the interpreter is led to his conclusions by following the text. The opposite approach to Scripture is eisegesis, which is the interpretation of a passage based on a subjective, non-analytical reading. The word eisegesis literally means “to lead into,” which means the interpreter injects his own ideas into the text, making it mean whatever he wants.” (gotquestions.org)
A church that includes children in worship: If you believe messages are only for adults and send your children off to youth group, it reflects a misunderstanding of their role in the church and I would also call you selfish. Children belong to God, not just to you.
“And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying, “Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” (Luke 18:9-17)
As someone who grew up in youth group without learning about reverence or the fear of the Lord during Sunday services, I urge you to let your kids worship with you. Be a family in faith together! (For a deeper exploration of this topic, Resourse: “Family Driven Faith” by Voddie Baucham)
A church with congregants and members who are accounted for: Are you able to hold your church accountable for what they say and do? Do you know the lives of the people who fill the pews and chairs in your building? Can you do life with the people who you are suppose to call brothers and sisters in the faith? Does your leadership know your name? Love on one another, encourage and break bread with those who share the same hope.
While our pursuit of holiness is ongoing, it’s important to address a caution: as women, we often struggle when emotions lead us instead of truth. This isn’t solely a fault of women; there’s a larger issue at play.
Men, have you considered why many women feel the need to be “strong and independent”? We shouldn't have to open our own doors, buy ourselves flowers, carry heavy groceries, lead prayers, choose the church, or pick the Bible study. This reliance on ourselves often arises because we need you to step up.
Listen closely, men: we want and need you to pick up the slack. When you don’t fulfill your role, we’re left to shoulder responsibilities that should be yours or shared. There are many capable women, but that doesn’t mean we should have to uphold the household alone.
Men, this message isn’t just for husbands; it’s for pastors, deacons, fathers, brothers, friends—every man in the church.
